Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
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My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
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I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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