Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
