Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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