sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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