billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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