you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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