I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
