so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
