this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
