Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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