I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
