So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
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Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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