I'm drive I can fine osifer
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
