I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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