I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
