I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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