Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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