Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
