you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
