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I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
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