I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
