I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
