Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
