In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
