It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
