you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
This toilet bowl is my home.
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