Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
