Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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