Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
