Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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