I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Randomize
