Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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