Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
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I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
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It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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