I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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