going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
