i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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