i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
