physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
