i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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