I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
