If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
