Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
what day is it and did you see me today?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.