yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
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we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work