this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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