he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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