OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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