Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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