i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
