Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Nicole vs. Life
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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