paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
