Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
