Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize