I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
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We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
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Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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