i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
