Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
