a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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