how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
