My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
