drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
last night I used snow as a chaser
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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