actually, I'm a sock model
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
