we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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